Say “yes” to making the move.
Gone are the days when the men were the only ones to get down on one knee to ask that all important question. The tables have turned with girls now taking the lead. In December 2018, Pinterest reported that searches for “Women propose to men ideas” are up by 336 per cent year over year.
However, this trend has a long way to go in Sri Lanka as the cultural forces around us have set many limitations as to why the girl should not do the asking. But put your doubts aside, ladies. If you want something, we suggest you go out and take it! Here’s how you can deal with the many reservations you may feel when considering this make or break question.
“Will he be okay with me popping the question anytime soon?”
You know he’s the one and that he loves you back, so you may think there’s no need to answer this question in the first place. However, according to Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and renowned love researcher, “historically men have been more eager to marry when they’re financially secure, and women have wanted to marry when they wanted children.” Men are different and the way they look at marriage may not be the same as you do.
So during one of your heartfelt conversations with him, find out whether he’s ready to get married (be subtle, obvs!). This way you’ll get the timing right without freaking him the eff out with a ring in your hand! If he’s not ready to get hitched anytime soon, consider giving him the space he needs.
“Will people think I’m desperate?”
This question has major roots in what you’ve been exposed to since childhood. Everyone talks about how magical it is when the guy goes down on one knee. I mean, when Charlotte proposed to Trey in Sex and the City (the TV show, not the movie), she was so embarrassed that she told everyone he popped the question in front of Tiffany’s.
The best way to tackle this question is by asking yourself whether you want to do it out of fear of losing him. If your answer is a ‘yes’, it’s best that you let it take a backseat for the moment and think hard about going through with it. If you’re not afraid of him rejecting you, go ahead and propose to him! Sure, there will always be nosy aunties or terrible acquaintances who’ll call you needy, but just ignore them! Instead, believe in this pretty darn confident move and celebrate yourself!
“Should I ask for his parents’ permission before I do it?”
This is Sri Lanka, so it’s always a good idea to meet his parents before doing anything. Their approval matters to a significant extent and it’s a sign you respect them. Of course, they may be quite traditional and firmly believe that the guy should do the proposing. So, be sure to explain the good intention behind it. Irrespective of whether they agree with you or not, chances are they’ll develop a strong sense of trust towards you for being open with them. Just be sure to tell them to keep in on the DL if you’re planning on surprising boo.
“How will he react to the proposal?”
Every guy has his own opinion about proposals, some like it and some want to be the ones doing it. But, the general consensus is positive. Asanka, 26, said that if a girl does that to him, it would show how confident she is, and her initiative would be totally attractive. Hamza, 30, shared, “I’d like to ask the question first, but if she beats me to it, I’ll say ‘yes’ and tell her she deserves a million points for getting the guesswork right!”
You know him best, so listen to what your gut says and act upon it. If you believe he’ll be mostly okay with a girl taking the lead and will have his ego in check, then you’ve got no worries, honey. However, if you think that he might be dreaming about doing the asking, check with his closest friends about how he actually feels about the subject. Having said that, don’t completely drop the idea. Just chose your words wisely when you go in for the kill!
In a nutshell, going down on one knee is pretty nerve-racking. If a girl is doing it, even more so, because there isn’t a manual out there to help! Banish the doubts and remember for a happier future together, you need to consider his happiness, as well as yours. After all, it takes two to tango!
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