Second Chances love Cosmo SL Asks 6 People How They Feel About

Cosmo SL Asks 6 People How They Feel About Second Chances

It’s the holy grail of relationship dilemmas!

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What happens when a partner messes up in a relationship? Should you continue pretending nothing happened or face it? In my search for answers, I spoke to women and men from different walks of life, experiences and marital statuses to help gain a better perspective. To help understand matters even further, I suggested 3 different scenarios which appear to be the more prevalent causes in Colombo:  domestic violence, not making the time, and sexual chemistry.

Domestic Violence

This includes all kinds of mental and physical abuse irrespective of the magnitude.

“No one has the right to hurt anyone either mentally or physically. I think it’s best to avoid such a toxic person at any cost when it’s clear they don’t really love you.” — Anusha, 23 (single – never been in a relationship)

“My past relationships have been emotionally draining and I let it happen to me over and over again believing my partner would change. Despite my patience, nothing really worked. So what I’ve learned now is that you can’t change anyone. If this happens to you, don’t wait until it’s too late! Try communicating and if the response isn’t positive, let them go without wasting your time.” — Rumana, 25 (single – been in relationships before)

“Your partner’s reaction after mistreating you says a lot about them so look out for those signs when you decide to give them another chance. If you’re married, it could get even messier as you’re indirectly pushed towards giving more chances to save the marriage. But, at the end of the day, always put yourself first.” — Wazim, 31 (married)

“I wouldn’t go on forever in a situation like this. If I end the relationship, it will be because I didn’t have any other choice. I wouldn’t give someone who was abusive and had no respect for me a second chance.” — Anissa, 28 (divorced)

Not Making The Time

“If my man is not making time for me, communication matters. I would talk it out with him and try to fix things. However, there’s only so much talking you can do. There comes a time when you get fed up of trying to fix the same issue many times over. When you feel unwanted and unloved, you should stop giving him any more chances and put yourself first. After all, the simple truth is, if someone loves you, he (or she) will definitely make time for you.” — Harini, 28 (in a serious relationship)

“This is a difficult scenario to be in, after all, relationships revolve around making time for your partner, especially in a marriage. It’s workable. However, if the situation still continues, it is a clear no!” — Wazim, 31 (married)

“It’s easy to say that the partner isn’t making time—it’s a deal breaker for most millennial relationships. Introspect your own involvement and dedication to the relationship. With the world around us keeping our lives busy, giving time could be the hardest thing to do. Time shouldn’t be your demand from them; it should be a luxury you both look forward to. And if he’s often ‘making time’, it’s definitely worth a second chance!” — Ridhma, 27 (married)

“I believe that ‘no time’ is just an excuse. If a person is important then all the time in the world with that person is still not enough. You can have a very busy schedule, but it’s an individual’s choice to spend some quality time with their partner. I would consider giving him a second chance but never a third.”  — Anissa, 28 (divorced) 

Sexual Chemistry

Having a special, physical attraction in a relationship is just as important as any other aspect.

“Unfortunately, I have no experienced input here, but I think sexual chemistry is something that can develop over time. If not, well, practice makes perfect, right?” — Anusha, 23 (single – never been in a relationship)

“I am someone who loves sex and it’s necessary to have in a relationship. By the time I’d met my boyfriend I had had my share of sexual encounters while he had not. Initially, he wasn’t great but with time he learned. And what was great was that he was willing to learn. It showed me how committed he was to our relationship and that he acknowledged this was important to me. I loved that about him, and now he’s even better than me! This journey strengthened our relationship and now makes for an exciting sex life. I’m glad I gave him a second chance.” — Harini, 28 (in a serious relationship)

“If there is no sexual chemistry then there is no point. While we can always look at ideas and options to work around it, for me, when you don’t have it at the start it’s downhill from that moment onwards!” — Wazim, 31 (married)

“I am a believer in love. Sexual attraction isn’t everything for me. If my partner and I parted ways because of a lack of sexual chemistry and then wanted to get back together at one point, I would certainly give it another shot. If he comforted me every single time when I was blue and if he made me feel important all the other times except in bed, why not try once more to see whether we could be happy together?” — Anissa, 28 (divorced)

What To Know:

The above opinions are just that: opinions. If you’re dealing with a similar situation and uncertain what you should do, here are a few things to consider.

Domestic Violence

  • This is a toxic situation to be in, so sit down and have a serious talk with your partner. If it happens more than once, move on for your own safety.
  • Avoid confusing obsession with love as you will end up being physically and emotionally affected.

Not Being Able To Make Time

  • If your S.O needs more personal space, let him have it.
  • Communicate the problem at hand and clearly ask your partner if you are a priority.
  • Keep communication lines open and have regular chats so both of you will be on the same wave length.
  • Know your type before you get into a relationship.

Sexual Chemistry

  • Experiment different ways to spice up your sex life.
  • Trust and give it time.
  • If nothing works, don’t settle.

The subject of second chances is debatable, and if you’re stuck in any of these situations and don’t know what to do, listen to your gut. It won’t let you down.

 

 

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