Why Dating In Sri Lanka Is Like The Bachelor/Bachelorette

Dating apps, ghosting, cheating, awkward first dates – there are a million reasons why trying to get into the dating game is a gd nightmare. Trying to casual date in Colombo is even worse – so bad, in fact, it feels like you’re on a tropical version of the Bachelor. Here are a few hyperbolic reasons why:

1. Your dating pool consists of like 20 people 

   Once you remove your relatives, friends’ exes, and stalkers from the mix, the remaining age-appropriate dating pool is minuscule. And the people within this tiny dating pool probably know each other, are peripherally related to each other, or live in close proximity to each other. 

2. Everyone knows your bizniz                           Sure, your awkies first kisses and hand-holding won’t be broadcasted on national TV – but it will be recorded for posterity by every nosy busybody out there who saw you getting saucy.
3. Your dates are paid for by someone else                             The Bachelors take women out on dates paid for by the producers. Colombo peeps take women out on dates with their parent’s credit card. Same same.
4. The in-fighting is savage                          Since competition is tough, the claws are sharp. Elaborate subterfuges, sabotages, and tears are common – regardless of gender. Get used to it OR GET OFF THE SHOW (and by show we mean the island).
5. There’s a new season every year

   There’s a “season”, generally December to January, where all the excitement happens. Events, parties, new people, people back in town on holiday. There’s also usually a lot of hype beforehand, and a lot of drinking during.

6. A 2 week dating period is enough time to get married                                At least, in your parents’ eyes. Your horoscopes match – what more do you need to know??
7. You’ll make female friendships based on heartbreak

   Over the years, you’ll eventually make friends with other women who also got hit on/dumped/cheated on by the same guy. It’s a weird and wonderful bonding experience. 

8. The Bachelors are generally disappointing – ’nuff said.