It’s been a ride.
I joined the world of online dating a few months ago and since then, life has certainly been very entertaining. From the dudes with the witty one-liners to the boys sporting their abs in all their glory to the total creeps, I encountered them all. Here, I break them all down for you, so hopefully, some of you first timers will learn a thing or two when navigating Tinder. At the most, you can have a hearty laugh at my escapades!
1. The Hookup-Before-Hi Guy
Yup, you guessed it right, this is the guy who wants to put out before even saying hi. I don’t know why he thought, saying, “Wanna sex?” before even saying hello was ever going to score him a fling online or otherwise. Besides, no one in C-Town even agrees to a date without knowing all about the dude’s family history. Some revision on basic communication skills are in order, my dear. But, I wish you good luck!
2. The Girl That Questions My Preferences
Although I’ve clearly stated my preference as ‘Men’ at the outset, I (read: my friends and I) encountered a girl while swiping one tipsy Friday night. Naturally, said friends swiped right and a conversation was born! What could’ve been a perfect best-friend scenario (we literally shared the same food preferences!) was ruined by weird winky gif’s and post-Friday night shame. Tinder needs to fix this mix-up, so I don’t lead anyone on and channel my inner Regina George. Besides, Colombo is too small to make terrible mistakes like this. My apologies!
3. The Total Creep
This is the guy who just creeps you out from the get go. He uses the location/ distance meter thing to track your whereabouts and constantly sends you seriously stalker-like messages that go from “You’re out of Colombo” to “You’re getting closer now!” Why would anyone in their right mind think this was a good move? Whether you’re a foreigner or 100% Lankan, this is one creepy move that’s indicative of a potential inner Ted Bundy. Boy, BYE!
4. The Cheater
Lesson number one: Colombo is a very small city where everyone knows pretty much everyone else. So, if you’re hitched or exclusively seeing someone, please delete your Tinder account stat! Just stay loyal. Lesson number two: Ladies, do not swipe right on someone solely based on chiselled abs. Turns out this extremely good looking chap (who got seriously butt hurt over a late reply!) is in a long-term relationship. Thanks to my friends, who I share all my T-adventures with, I dodged a big-Lankan-relationship-drama bullet.
5. The Genuinely Hilarious & Nice Guy
Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t all bad. After all, it would be weird if I didn’t bump into at least one nice person right? Right. In fact, I encountered a few nice guys. With some I regularly discuss my unpopular TV show opinions and with others I exchange funny memes. I won’t say getting to said nice dudes didn’t take up a lot of swiping and T-date fails, but hey if you can get past the cringe-worthy pickup lines, there are probably some decent guys in Colombo for all you single gals. I know I’ve definitely found someone I see myself sharing a plate of hot buttered cuttlefish with while enjoying a cool Lankan breeze!
You can consider me #shooketh.
Your email address will not be published.
You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>