An Ode To All The Little Lankan Ladies - Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka
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An Ode To All The Little Lankan Ladies

Hey, Shortie!

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Here’s to the end of all short jokes. Let’s get them out of our systems: Thanks, the weather is fine down here. No, you can’t use me as an arm rest. And, yes, you did see me down here. If any of these lines sound familiar to you, you’re probably like me, vertically challenged. If so, read on and I’ll try not to bore you with an overwhelming amount of cliche motivational lines, like “Good things come in small packages” or whatever. Here’s the thing about being short: Like fur, neon eyeliner and anything fishnet, it’s all about how you pull it off. 

Height is not your measure; have an explosive personality and ooze confidence and no one will even notice the small package it’s radiating from. As cheesy as it is, confidence is key. Too often girls think they can’t do something because they’re short, but it’s not our fault. That kind of thinking is drilled into our heads. 

In the White House, the President’s chair is 2-inches taller than everyone else, because apparently, height = power. If you’re asked to picture a powerful leader, he (that’s a whole other issue) is tall, dark and defined. What’s up with that? Can short girls not kick ass? Truth is, they probably can, but were told they were too short to be leaders. They may be the same size as your average 12-year-old, but they’re as serious and capable as the towering giraffe next to them. Height should not be a sign of maturity. And no, it’s not cute when we’re mad, don’t be condescending. Remember, if a short person were to kick you, she’s at just the right level to make it REALLY hurt. Besides that very obvious perk, here are a few others in case you ever need reassurance that being short is pretty sweet. 

Oh, and P.S, if you’re worried that a guy doesn’t like you because you’re too short, move on, he’s not worth it anyway.

1. The Spotlight

It’s always on you. When it’s time to take a group picture, who gets to be front and centre? It’s you, the shortie, so flash your smile and embrace it. 

2. First Class? No thanks. 

Who needs first class? You have all the leg room you could need in economy.

3. The Cheapest Youth Serum 

Look younger effortlessly. Am I 20-years-old? Or am I 30? Good luck finding out. 

4. Front and Centre 

Do you want to be able to see Justin Bieber up close and personal? Lick the sweat as it drips off his toned body? Use the short excuse to squeeze your way to the front of the concert. You’re so short, no one’s going to complain! I’ve used this technique to cut the line at the canteen, and no one notices me squeezing through them to get to the front. By the time they do, it’s too late, I already bought the last chocolate chip cookie. I will vouch for it. 

After all, you don’t choose to be short, but you can choose to embrace all that you are and work around it. Stop the stigma, short can be sexy, smart and severely serious. Don’t mess with the shorties, they pack a whole lot of punch into a very small package. 

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