Dating in ye olden days (i.e. any time before the Internet existed) seemed so simple and straightforward. You made eye contact at the discotheque, you held hands, then you got married – easy, right? These days there are way more crushes to be had – and way more ways to get their attention than phoning their home phone and asking their mom to put them on the line. Here are some sneaky ways to get your crush’s attention without any scary human interaction:
The E-Meet Cute
Don’t let the fact that you’ve never met your crush IRL stop you from following them online. But how to keep the online follow from venturing into stalker territory? If you follow them on Twitter, it means you think they’re funny and on Instagram you like their aesthetic – big deal. Facebook friend requests are less chill if you don’t know them, and are usually reserved for creeps who message every girl who’s wearing a swimsuit in her profile pic (probably not the look you’re going for).
Make Your Presence Known
The more your crush sees your face popping up, the more they’re going to think of you – but keep it subtle. Liking their track on SoundCloud? Fine. Going on their LinkedIn page? A bit more direct, but still kinda fine. Liking their mom’s Facebook page for her cooking blog? Abort – you’ve gone too far.
Subtweets are usually reserved for throwing shade (oh, hi, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift), but you could use this ‘function’ in a good way, too.
So, you’ve followed that babe (and they followed you back because they have good follow-back etiquette), and now you know from reading every tweet of theirs since November 2015 that they work in advertising (also, if you’re unsure of someone’s job but they’re on Twitter, it’s usually safe to assume they’re a copywriter anyway). Send a tweet that will have them thinking, ‘Is this about me..?’ You could be subtle (‘Crazy cuddles RN…’), a bit more specific (‘Thinking about taking in a cuddle buddy this winter’) or downright brazen: ‘Single copywriters slide into my DMs please and thank you’.
The ‘Accidental’ Like
We’ve all had that nightmare moment where you’re seven-months deep into someone’s Instagram and accidentally double-tap a photo of them at the beach with their friends because you were trying to zoom in on their abs. Instead of hurriedly un-liking it, just own it – they’re going to get the notification and it’s guaranteed to get their attention. Sure, they could be wondering why you were stalking them, but they’ll be flattered and have an idea of your intentions.
Bump Into Them IRL
If you’ve spent months trying to figure out your crush’s location based on the blurry background in their Instastories, it’s time to use a new technique to try bump into them IRL. Click on their Events tab on Facebook (yes, this exists – if you didn’t know until now, you are welcome) to see where they’re headed next. To keep this on the safe side of subtle stalking, only go to the same things as them if you would’ve gone anyway – i.e. if you see they’re going to watch Solange and you like Solange too, go for it, but their friend’s intimate birthday gathering at Burger King? Stay away.
If you’ve tried everything and they’re still not getting the hint, remember you’ve always got the option to just slide into the DMs. Good luck!
From Cosmo ZA
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