Romeo one minute, where'd he go the next?
Ghosting (in case you’ve been living under a rock) is when someone you’ve been dating or chatting up just ceases all communication with you and pretty much drops off the face of the Earth. There’s no goodbye, no explanation, and not even the pathetic it’s-not-you-it’s-me line. They’ve just vanished and in most cases, there’s absolutely nothing you can do.
Is this ever acceptable?
For the most part, yes. Picture this: you met online and you’re yet to actually see each other in person. Perhaps, your schedules don’t mesh or you’re just not sure that you’re ready for a face-to-face IRL. After all, he may or may not, be a serial killer. Eventually, it becomes super tedious to keep the messaging going. So, when you’ve had enough and are over it, you decide to ghost.
It can also be a great way to ditch a bad date (the one who thinks sexist jokes are still funny, for instance). Why waste your time?
Finally, if the person in question is violent, volatile or certifiably crazy and you honestly believe disappearing is better for your safety and well-being, then by all means, go for it.
We asked Natalie, the resident ghosting expert, for her input on the topic. What’s the deal? Is it acceptable?
“Ghosting is definitely not a mature way of handling things. However, when someone doesn’t seem to be getting the hint, it can be the most effective way of getting your message across – I don’t like you, stop drowning me in messages, kthanksbye.”
How do you ghost responsibly?
If you have a guilty conscience, forget about ghosting. THIS IS NOT FOR THE WEAK. You have to be 100% certain that you’re done with this (potential) relationship. Because you’re taking the ghost way out (which, some would argue, is cowardly), chances are you’ll probably never have any sort of contact with this person, again. Now that you’ve figured that you’re over this relationship, you do what most confrontation-averse people do: You ghost. It’s a process that involves two imperative steps:
1. You ignore their every attempt at communication.
2. That’s it.
Congrats! You’ve successfully ghosted! Now go find better people to date.
Finally … Know When to Hold ’Em, and When to Ghost ’Em
If you’re going to ghost, ghost early. The window for justifying this type of wimpy abandonment (if we’re being honest) closes after the third date. Seriously, just show up, be seen, be heard, put good Karma out into the dating pond and just send a text saying, ‘good luck!’ End of story.
Your email address will not be published.
You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>