16 Reasons Why Getting Jiggy Is Basically An Olympic Sport - Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka
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16 Reasons Why Getting Jiggy Is Basically An Olympic Sport

Someone always comes first.

AFP/Getty Images

If you thought the Olympics were a majestic and solemn exhibition of human achievement, I’m here to ruin that because hey, have you ever noticed they’re a lot like sex? Not in actual practice of course, although one day I’d love for it to be an official event. What I really mean is that many key aspects of the games also hold true in the bedroom.

Here are sixteen ways sex is pretty much an Olympic sport, or, at least, reasons why I think you deserve a medal for it anyways.

1. It’s a team effort. As the old adage goes, teamwork makes the dream work…whether you’re dreaming of a medal or of getting naked with a hot person. Be it a game of beach volleyball, or trying to maneuver a particularly tricky reverse cowgirl, any job worth doing is worth doing together <3

2. But you can also do it solo. Some of us don’t need help, thank you very much. Like Michael Phelps in the men’s 200 meter freestyle, we can ~breaststroke~ our way there all on our own.

3. People travel super far for it. Like, really far. Like will get on a plane and land in warm country for the sole purpose of doing the thing, even if it might not work out.

4. Someone always comes first. But that doesn’t mean the games are over! Seriously. Let’s make sure the person coming second (or third if you’re getting funky) gets their due. Sometimes, Silver is just as good as Gold.

5. It sometimes requires intense training. Nobody gets anywhere without practice, so while your first time trying something may be a little bumpy and awkward, you have to get back on the horse. Sometimes literally, if we are talking about equestrian (also, can someone please tell me wtf dressage is?). Moving on..

6. Be careful because injuries are common. Who among us hasn’t unexpectedly tumbled from the bed? Gotten a charlie horse in our calves? Accidentally kneed our partners in the groin? Like any physical activity, sex can be a handful, and we’ve all got our fair share of battle wounds to prove it.

7. It can cause mysterious bruises. On the one hand, it might have been some forceful neck sucking. On the other, there’s cupping.

Getty Images
Getty Images

8. Some people have been waiting their whole lives for this moment. We all have our priorities, big or small (sometimes, disappointingly small). While it may have gone differently in our heads, when it finally happens there’s a lot to celebrate.

9. Some people are really into it, and others couldn’t care less. Like most things, both events have a devoted fanbase that those on the outside just don’t understand. For some people, it’s just another day.

10. The Ancient Greeks were really good at it. I mean, I assume. They invented the Olympics and they also wore togas, which are like the OG Easy Access outfit. 

11. We’re obsessed, even if it only happens once every few years. If it seems like your life is just one long dry spell punctuated by random months of intense activity, then how do you think pentathloners feel???? Relish your moment of action, because it might not happen again for another four years.

12. Leslie Jones is really excited about it. I mean, what difference is there between this:

 And this 

13. Lotta butts. They are on full display. Also, bulges. Really, there are just a lotta body parts flying everywhere and for the most part I am here for it.


14. We love to watch people who are much better at it do it. Not to mention, we love to critique it even though we have no hope of replicating it ourselves. Why is her face like that? Why is he putting it there? I can’t tell if they’re happy or sad about what’s happening?

15. It can last for days. Sure, there are breaks in between because sometimes you gotta sleep. However, if you’re dedicated to the craft, you can keep it going all night long…and into the morning…and maybe again that afternoon. And then maybe when it’s over, you order a pizza, like the USA gymnastics team.

16. Honestly it’s an honor just to be a part of it all. Don’t forget you’re participating in a centuries-old tradition passed down through generations that unites the world as one. Also, there’s the Olympics.


From Cosmo US

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