“If you want to make a guy have a total meltdown, tell him you've been faking."
Women sometimes employ a bit of theatrical license in the bedroom. Hell, men do too. There are a lot of reasons to fake it, but the general societal consensus seems to be that faking is bad and you should Use Your Words instead of letting him poke away thinking everything is working as intended. Cosmopolitan.com asked 12 twentysomething guys for their real, honest opinions about fake responses.
1. “If it’s a one-night stand, and you want to stop and think he’s waiting for you to finish, then whatever. But if it’s a relationship, then you probably shouldn’t because the guy will think you liked that and continue to do the same shit that doesn’t actually make you respond.” —Chris, 22
2. “It’s better when I fake them.” —Dave, 23
3. “I think it’s bad no matter what the scenario is. Tell me if I suck and I’ll tell you if you suck. Let’s all collectively agree to better everyone’s sexual abilities.” —Richard, 24
4. “It’s not the worst thing in the world, obviously. And women do it just so they won’t hurt their partner’s feelings. But I think a lot of guys understand. I have to figure any guy that doesn’t think a woman has ever faked it with them is so bad in bed that everyone he’s ever been with has faked it. But I think it also shows that women feel like sex is more about the guy finishing and feeling good, and it’s less about them. It’s not my decision to make, really, who fakes it and who doesn’t. I just don’t think I’d do it, ever.” —Pete, 25
5. “Of course it’s bad. Because it implies two things: (1) You’re not doing it right and (2) she’s not comfortable talking to you about it.” —Aaron, 29
6. “I think in a normal, healthy sexual relationship, it’s fine to let your boyfriend or whatever know if you just can’t respond. It happens. You’re stressed out or feeling off; any guy that cares (and one that usually gets you) should understand and not take it as some personal slight. I don’t see where faking it gets anyone though. If you do it once or twice, it’s just wasted effort, and if you’re doing it all the time, you’re making your sex life worse.” —Tim, 26
7. “I’d be a hypocrite to condemn this. Obviously it’s much harder for a guy to fake it, but I’ve done it a few times. Weirdly, I feel like there’s more pressure on the guy sometimes. Like, the stereotype is that it’s hard for women to respond, and that guys do it almost too quickly. I can count it on one hand, but I’ve been too drunk or tired and whatever, and just faked it to avoid a million questions and to not give my partner any kind of hangups. So in a situation like that, it’s fine.” —Scott, 24
8. “I guess what I don’t know doesn’t hurt me. If I found out the person I was with faked it once or twice, it’d be whatever. It’d be a much bigger deal if I found out every time was a lie. Like, what the hell were we doing this whole while?” —Brian, 27
9. “I wouldn’t mind it if it’s not constant, but it depends on the girl. If it’s just a one-night hookup, I wouldn’t mind if she’s faking since I’ll never talk to her again. If it is someone who I am dating then it would be a problem.” —Jake, 28
10. “I think it’s dumb for women to fake it because how are you going to nut that way, girl?” —Greg, 23
11. “It’s like smoking cigarettes, I think. If you only do it a couple times a year when you’re drunk, then it’s no big deal. But if you’re doing it all the time, well, you’re causing problems.” —Seth, 24
12. “I get why someone would want to do it, but why put that out there and make someone second guess whether or not what they’re doing is working, or has ever worked? If you want to make a guy have a total meltdown, tell him you’ve been faking.” — Stephen, 26
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