Make a long-distance relationship work with these tips.
Relationships are hard, but long-distance ones are the worst because they often don’t work out. Sure, they can be loving, intense and even passionate, but when the going gets tough, the relationship can’t be properly tested because you’re not physically together. Developing a romantic connection, especially if you’re in it for the long haul, requires plenty of commitment and, above all, action—two foundations that are hard to implement in an LDR. But while being apart is challenging, there are some LDRs that grow and thrive.
Couples choosing to turn to long-distance – whether for jobs, education or family obligations – have their work cut out for them. There’s time zones to be reckoned with, high phone bills to pay and a loneliness that’s always present when your Significant Other is not with you. So, how do you get past all the trials and emerge victorious on the other side? Here are a few ways you and your partner can survive a long-distance relationship.
Prioritise Each Other And Understand Each Other’s Goals
To make sure you don’t question each other’s intensions, you must have a clear idea of both your romantic and professional goals. Not only will this give your relationship the best chance of survival, but you’ll also know, without a doubt, that you share similar outlooks on love and life. It is vital that both of you place significant importance on your relationship and put each other first. Effort is necessary to make sure things work out, so positioning your beau above other social commitments will lead to mutual understanding, respect and almost no resentment. For a long-distance relationship to succeed, you need to have a keen sense of assurance and security, and making sure your partner knows he comes first will ease some of the tension.
Keep Communication Lines Open
Needless to say, a successful relationship requires time and attention, especially if the couple is separated by geographical barriers. So aim to keep all channels of communication open. You could start by scheduling regular phone calls, email each other throughout the week and chat online when you’re taking a break from work. But it’s okay if it doesn’t happen often: You should talk to each other when you want to, and not because you have to; and if this means you don’t get to catch up for a couple of days, it’s completely fine! Don’t freak out; having a day or two to yourself occasionally isn’t all that bad. Just make sure your partner is in the loop and doesn’t feel like you’ve ghosted him.
Spend Time Together And Include Your Families
Depending on your geographical location, commit to spending as much time together as possible. If your partner resides in the same country but a different city, then don’t just spend the weekends with each other; public and bank holidays are good opportunities to get in extra one-on-one time. It’ll strengthen your bond and you’ll get to know each other better. Also, be sure to interact with each other’s friends and families, and include them in some of your couple plans. Your S.O. won’t get to know who you really are if you cut him off from those closest to you.
Keep The Spark Alive
It’s easy to sink into sadness or depression when your relationship involves relocation and less time to spend together. You might be tempted to neglect your personal appearance and develop a negative approach to life. However, it’s important to be energised and motivated for the sake of your relationship. So stay active, work out daily and eat right, and definitely continue to make your usual trips to the salon! You’ll feel and look good, and you and bae will remain physically attracted to each other. Keep the romance fresh and exciting with spontaneity. Show up unannounced at boo’s new place for a surprise visit or send random gifts and flowers to keep things fun.
Plan For The Future And Be Positive
Prepare for a time when the two of you will reunite and be in the same place. Perhaps you’ll finally move in together and make the down payment on a house you’ve been eyeing or take that long-awaited trip to an exotic location. This will give both of you something to look forward to, so you’ll remain confident and optimistic.
Long-distance relationships are difficult. They take time and effort, and could easily collapse under the weight of WhatsApp calls. The ones that stand the test of time and flourish, despite the obstacles thrown at them, offer a glimmer of hope that surviving a long-distance relationship is possible, if you take it one day at a time. LDRs teach you to find value in even the simplest of things: Holding your sweetheart’s hand, eating together or taking a walk suddenly take on new meaning, and you learn to truly appreciate the other’s presence. So, remain positive and put in every effort to keep your relationship going. It’s a long ride, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun.
This article was originally published as ‘Making A Long-Distance Relationship Work’ in the March 2017 issue of Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka. For more tips on love, grab a copy of our latest magazine.
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