Here’s How You Don’t Lose Yourself In A Relationship - Cosmopolitan Sri Lanka
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Here’s How You Don’t Lose Yourself In A Relationship

Balance is key

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Whenever we find a new beau and get into a serious relationship, some of us may make our new S.O our focus, and, well, drop everything else. This isn’t best for either of you. Both you and boo need to have your own schedules, while still managing to do things together. Maintaining your own independence in a romantic relationship is vital for both you and Lover Boy’s mental health. After all, two halves don’t make a whole; for a wholesome union, it takes two wholes who have their lives in order and know how to strike a healthy balance. Easier said than done? We agree. But take your cues from some of our Lankan ladies and their insight into love and life.

Dates with your besties are important

Go out with your gal pals at least once a week sans the men in your lives for a little girl time. “I try to schedule in lunch or dinner (with drinks, obvs!) every weekend with the girls without my husband. We see plenty of each other, and not enough of our friends,” says Malsha, 30. “Besides, this weekly meet up is a good time to just catch up, you know?” Agreed. What’s more? It’ll be a great opportunity for your BF or hubs to meet up with his friends and have a guy’s night, too. Plus, a little down time away from each other isn’t a bad thing. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Spend time…with yourself

It’s not as scary as it sounds! Whether it’s staying home curled up with a book, catching up on the latest episode of Game of Thrones or going to the movies alone, carve out time to spend by yourself for a little RnR. “My BF and I gym together quite often, but every once in a while, I like to go by myself. Or take a group fitness class solo, just for fun,” explains Senuri, 28.

Curb insecurities

Resist the urge to check in with your partner when y’all aren’t hanging out, and try not to go crazy if you don’t get a text from him…every five minutes! “I once had a BF who needed to know where I was, every hour. It was initially cute, but then it got borderline annoying. After all, I wasn’t checking up on him every two minutes so I disliked having to endure it myself. What’s with Lankan men and their insecurities, anyway? We eventually broke up, and after that I made sure my partner was someone who was sure of me and himself,” shares Amarah, 33.

Don’t rely on one person for everything

A good sign of a sound relationship is when the couple doesn’t rely on each other completely to fulfill wants or needs. What to aim for: You and Lover Boy being great together, but also working well individually. It’s perfectly okay to miss your S.O, but don’t let it get to a point where you entirely rely on each other to, well, survive.

Figure out other passions

We get it, your boyfriend plays a pretty huge part in your life. While this is good, it’s also important you find other things to focus on. Perhaps you want to start your own business, run a 5K marathon or become a zumba instructor. “I’m juggling a full-time job and a part-time degree program, plus a BF! It isn’t easy, but he’s totally understanding, and I know we’re both quite content with each other doing the things we’re passionate about. It’s a great feeling to have in a relationship!” reveals Shara, 23. Where ever your ambition lies, make sure you pursue them. By not making your beau the sole focus in your life, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to be happy with and without him around.

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