Your local melting pot.
1. The One Who Basically Lives There. Regardless of whether it’s a weekend (when most women tend to catch up on their grooming habits) or just a casual Tuesday mid-morning, this lady is always around. She knows the names of the children, nephews and nieces of all the stylists, knows when the reception receives new magazine subscriptions, insists she be the first to read them, and will throw a hissy fit if she discovers a lock of hair between the pages. You’ll never beat this one. No matter how urgent or life-changing your appointment, she will ALWAYS get first priority, and the first cup of coffee.
2. The One Who Looks Like She’s Just Rolled Out Of Bed (I acknowledge outright that I am absolutely the guilty party.) Faded shorts, an old university t-shirt (no, it’s not to advertise that, regardless of personal appearances, I have actually been to college. It’s the one that happened to be on top of the pile), and a handbag that’s seen better days. This category is here to get their much-overdue threading done and get the eff outta there because the pain is too much to handle for too long. This is also the category with a face that’s exploding while paying because laser causes it to erupt for a bit, okay? No need to stare.
3. The Bride. Unfailingly, a wife-to-be and platoon of bridesmaids will have taken complete command of the salon, leaving everyone else frantically skirting around them, their stilettos, saris and the travel suitcases they bring, which contain (we can only assume) a pet to keep on hand. On a good day, they can make you feel like the world is actually a fabulous place, regardless of the traffic you’re going to face on the way home. But if your mood is not up to par, you’ll rue the day you ever ran into them. Too much happiness for a Saturday morning.
4. The Little One Having Her Hair Cut For The First Time. It is the END OF THE WORLD. And gosh, do you empathise. Seeing your hair cut off mercilessly is enough to bring tears to anyone’s eyes (yes, even to this day). But nothing prepares you for the shock of how it looks when it dries out. And then comes the overspill. So forget the basic trim you’ve come for. You leave remembering how rough childhood can be and how ruthless your mother was for putting you in such close proximity to scissors. Also, it’s too late to offer her a milkshake, DUH!
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